In The Heat of The Night

One of the most interesting things about this diet is all the things I am learning about myself and the rhythms of my body. For example, I have absolutely no appetite in the morning. I can go to bed starving (as I usually do as I will explain shortly), but come morning, I could care less about food. This program requires that you eat a fairly large breakfast and sometimes it is actually difficult for me to eat it.

There has been an improvement on "being hungry" in general. For most of the day I am now no longer obsessing about food (yeah!) and, even at dinner time, I eat when I am hungry, but I am no longer counting down the minutes until I can eat. So why is it that at about 10:30 pm all I want to do is eat? Even if I have put off dinner until 8:30 or so, and then had my dessert at around 9:30/10:00, I am starving by about 10:30/11:00. The dessert ends up acting as an amuse bouche. I am sure some of it is that during the week the boy gets home around that time and is eating his dinner, but even nights when he has eaten earlier or he isn't home, I am starving at that time. Why?

Does anyone else have times of the day when they are just always hungry?

Interesting Article In the NYT

The following was an article in today's New York Times.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/02/25/no-winner-in-major-diet-study/

To Weigh or Not To Weigh

I have always been anti-scale. I believe weight to be a somewhat irrelevant number. For instance, when I was in my teens and early twenties and was a size two, I weighed 120-125 pounds - pretty heavy for a size 2. I've always gone more by how I feel, how clothes fit me, etc.

But, many people have made the suggestion over the past few weeks that if I am taking this diet thing seriously (and blogging about it), I should be weighing myself so I can give a more accurate account of my weight loss. Thus, I went out over the weekend and bought one of those fancy scales that not only does weight, but body fat percentage and body mass index. I gingerly stepped on it Sunday morning......and was immediately demoralized.

I knew I had put some weight on, but I didn't know I had become a frigging hippo! I was even thinking I had already lost some weight because my jeans were not quite so snug. I can't bring myself to post the actual number, but let's just say I am almost 40 pounds heavier than Jeremy (and I mean the boyfriend, not the cat!). I stood there and cried for about half an hour and was in a deep funk all day Monday. I am feeling a bit better today, but am still just appalled at the number that I saw.

I will continue to weigh myself in order to give a more accurate account of my results, but I am going back to my belief that weight is a somewhat irrelevant number.

I Miss Bacon

As I said in my post yesterday, you can actually eat quite a lot of food on this plan albeit in teeny tiny quantities. Some foods are, of course, taboo no matter what. I knew I would miss some of them - bagels, pasta, ice cream, real cheese (oh Epoisse how I long for your rich creaminess...I even miss you, simple chedder), but some foods have rather surprised me such as bacon, cashews and peanut butter.

I did tend to eat a lot of cashews, so maybe that really should not be a surprise, but bacon and peanut butter (mm mm - bacon and peanut butter sandwiches - a childhood favorite) were a once in a blue moon kind of thing. So why the odd cravings for them?

I usually associate odd cravings with my body needing something. Not if it is chocolate cake of course, but, for example, I am not a big beef eater but there are those times when I desperately want a burger. I usually indulge such cravings because I figure my body needs the iron or something else that is in the beef. But peanut butter and bacon? I can't for the life of me think what they could contain that my body would need except salt.

Very curious.

Size Really Does Matter

The main thing I have learned on this diet program is that size really does matter. In this case, smaller is better.

As far as I can tell, the underlying tenet of the program is portion control. You actually get to eat quite often during the day (breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner and dessert) and get to eat most foods (e.g., lasagna, pizza, pot roast, meatloaf, brownies), but it is all teeny tiny portions. The entrees are about the size of the meals you get on an airplane, maybe even smaller. The beef stew is about a cup. They also, in my opinion, cheat a little. One meal that was billed as home style noodles with chicken and gravy, was mostly gravy and had maybe a dozen little thin noodles (and, of course, I can't honor my Italian roots and use a nice piece of crusty bread to sop up all that remaining sauce). Another meal that was supposed to be green pepper steak with rice had - without exaggeration - a tablespoon of rice.


So far, I have found this a little frustrating. Yes, you do get to eat as much salad - including what I refer to as the water vegetables - as you want, but there is only so much lettuce, cucumbers and celery a girl can eat. Add in that I have stepped up my workouts, and I am always just a little hungry. Not starving mind you, just hungry enough that it is bothersome. I am sure it is at least 50% psychological. The program has supposedly figured out how much food your body needs, not how much you might want, but I feel like I am not eating enough. Especially the carbs. I love carbs and have come to learn that I don't feel full unless I have eaten carbs. As exemplified by my description of the two aforementioned meals, the program is very low on carbs. Again, I know in my head that that is largely psychological, but that doesn't help the tummy from feeling empty.

Another factor is boredom. Since I am trying to stick to the plan 6 days a week (allowing one cheat day) and cut out a lot of the alcohol I used to drink, I am trying to go out only once a week. That means spending a lot more nights sitting around at home watching TV. Plus, I am not spending the time that I used to spend cooking meals or cleaning up after which means, yup, you guessed it, more time sitting around reading or watching TV. I suppose, to some, that would sound heavenly, but what it really means, for me, is more time to think about all the food that I am not eating. Even being busy with work doesn't help. I have never been one who "forgets" to eat. Quite frankly I always wanted to slap people who said that. I mean, come on, who the hell "forgets" to eat.

I am hoping that eventually I will get used to it and not feel, or I guess more accurately, think I feel hungry. And it is definetly a food lesson that can be used beyond the length of the program and hopefully help keep the pounds off when I start eating "real" food again. For now though, I guess I will just continue to be a little hungry.

And so it begins

Welcome! It has taken me a bit of time, but after much hemming and hawing I have finally decided to start blogging. Yes, a little late to the game, but then I usually am slow to pick up on this techie stuff.

Initally, I will mainly be posting about my experiences as a foodie on a diet. After watching my ass grow ever larger over the last few years, I decided it was time to do something, anything to lose some weight. While I realize I will never be a size 2 or even a size 4 again, revisiting a size 6 would be nice. So, with consent from the boy (because he would no longer be getting home cooked meals every night) I signed up for one of those programs which sends you all your food.

I am now two weeks in and have to admit, the food is not so bad. With the exception of one thing (which could have been the most disgusting thing I have ever put in my mouth - no jokes from the peanut gallery please) most of the food has been pretty good. Granted, it is nothing I would eat were I not dieting, but it is nothing that makes you wonder "how are people are supposed to eat this crap."

So, I ask you to join me on this little adventure of mine. I hope you enjoy reading about it!